If my body is salvageable, I’ll take the Gilgamesh approach (Read “Contact” for details), or strap myself to a nuke before it’s dropped. I guess if I DO go out, I want it to be with a bang.

The easiest is the ashes to ashes thing, bury ‘em or scatter ‘em, don’t much care. Tossed into a howling chinook wind as it rides across the Front Range would be fitting, I suppose.

There are just a few places that’ll do a full on funeral pyre, but the goverment creates a lot of hoops to jump through. Be nice, though, a big party on a summer night with a big bonfire as the center attraction, sending sparks into the cool night air.

A box for my remains doesn’t seem to make sense, unless I go to one of two extremes: Either poke it full of holes so the worms can get a meal or make it last for a very-very long time.

I assigned an assignment once to a class of paleontology students: write burial instructions that would ensure your remains became fossilized. Not just mummified (a lead coffin in a peat bog will do that, or dropped into a glacial crevase) but actual petrification.

Could be difficult to arrange. But cool.

I guess they figured my real motive was to spare my family the burden of burial expenses (they were right), so I would therefore be willing to pay for that privilege.

I was, but not to them. You’d think when you offer your remains to someone to save them money, the least they could do is not stick their hand in your pocket.

My ashes will be divided into one ounce portions, which will be encapsuled into Lucite paper weights and handed out to anyone that attends my Wake.

Any leftovers will be given out as graduation gifts to my descendants.