The only thing patience does is make for longer waits.

If you want something, ask constantly and loudly until you get it. If you still don’t get it, knock things off the table. That always gets the human off her ass.

If you need a wash and are too tired from napping to do it yourself, piss your human off by jumping on the kitchen counters. Your human will spray you liberally from the spray bottle and there’s your bath.