If the vivid description Jody gave us is accurate, he is someone who does not think this is creepy. If he did it, or if he did not do it. Either way, with his attitude towards it, he is likely to tell someone should the topic come up.

I have some cousins who did some ugly things to frogs on a regular basis. There was one memorable evening when they did something pretty ugly (though non-lethal) to a neighborhood cat (one that they had a particular grudge against, for fighting with their own family cat). What they did to the cat (I won’t go into details unless someone does a good job talking me into it) was a bit elaborate. It required requisition of two items belonging to their father that would have gotten them punished if he found out.

It was a bad-taste joke. Anybody with a cat is welcome to try the experiment, no mower necessary. Just try the first step of burying a live cat up to its neck.

When you get back from the emergency room, tell me how it went.

The statute has run and you have only his word for it. There is nothing official to do. So, what’s YOUR goal? To not have anything to do with him.

You could explain in public to him you are uncomfortable around him and hope you can keep contacts to a minimum. That’s preferred. He may insist he’s misunderstood and you can say he might be and you are still uncomfortable.

You can meet your granddaughter somewhere else.

Explain to “them” that you are uncomfortable around a parent, and ask if you can pick up your granddaughter a bit later, a bit earlier, or a bit farther down the block.

You can watch to see when he picks his daughter up and wait until after.

I figured they would be more interested in making the guy miserable than they are in saving animals.

Kind of like, you use a psycho to catch a psycho

If it was a throwaway joke by someone who wasn’t thinking things through (I remember the Dead Baby Joke cycle of years ago), he should be contrite and apologetic. No humor is appropriate when someone is really bothered by it.

If he gets defensive and indignant (“Why would something like that bother you? What’s wrong with you?”), that’s a warning flag of someone who, if not a potential mass murderer, is at least an insensitive clod.

Sorry to insist on the “dark side” interpretation, but that’s what I believe, and from my experience, believe strongly.

I’m with you in that my first instinct would be to put some distance between myself and the psychopath, and to not give him/her a chance to talk me out of it. Psychopaths tend to be silver-tongued devils and will say anything to get their way. Your protectiveness is justified.

I’d guess that the hardest thing is your granddaughter’s relationship with his daughter. Hard for me to know what to say. You might reasonably want to isolate Ava from the bad influence, but if they’re close, that could hurt Ava too. Maybe vigilance is enough…after some subtle questioning of the kid, eh? Find out if there’s a “bad seed” factor to worry about.

Tough break, Jody.

It is possible he was joking as Tom said. If so it is still inexcusable. I would call PETA and let them interview the bastard to make sure he hasn’t mowed any cat heads lately.

If he tries to apologize and says it was a joke ask him why he thinks something like that could funny to anyone

Stay away from the MF and if you feel .your daughter’s friendship is too important to break, make sure they see each other on your turf only.