Normally, I’m not a stickler for proper grammar. To begin with, the English language is a continuously evolving hybrid of Germanic and Romance components, and was never formalized by an official Academy as is Spanish or French. Correct grammar, as well as spelling and vocabulary, is determined by usage, and usage is constantly changing for social, historical and geographical reasons. The language changes, evolves, accepts or discards influences and often adopts slang or fashion with little control from “official” authorities. It evolves and hybridizes naturally, like a living thing. In fact, it could be argued language is a living software organism, running on multiple human hardware platforms. It is a meme, outside human control, it travels, reproduces, and evolves . Besides, it simply doesn’t matter if our grammar is perfect, especially when even the experts can rarely agree with what “correct” grammar is. And sometimes even a deliberate departure from standard English can add spice or color to text.

Having said that, there is much to be said for consistency. If every linguistic fad or abberation is adopted and disseminated indescriminately, pretty soon we will be unable to communicate. This was inevitable when no one left the vicinity of their home town, and a knowledge of Latin was essential to the traveler, official or scholar; but today, with highly developed travel and communications, some kind of consistency is essential to understanding. The language we speak is an evolved form of London English that was standardized by the popularity of Geoffrey Chaucer’s writings in the 13th century. He wrote in his own speech, rather than scholarly Latin or Greek. If we could time-travel to medieval England we would be unable to communicate anywhere outside London, and there, only with difficulty. (Chaucer’s English was similar to ours when written, but the sound takes some getting used to).

I had a friend in college who was raised in rural Italy and was taught formal Italian at school. But at home he spoke the dialect of his village, which although related to the national language, was quite different. He was delighted when he found out one of our professors came from his part of the country, and the two would often get together just for the pleasure of conversing in their own native tongue. My friend was from a rather remote part of Northern Italy, up in the Alps. So remote, he said, no one in his village had ever tasted tea until the 1920s. Incidentally, modern Italian was very much the result of the dialect spoken by Dante, as modern Spanish owes to the dialect spoken by Cervantes. Maybe art does matter.

But given the charm and diversity of regional, class, and historical variants, there are some deviations which are simply barbarous, and should not be countenanced by anyone who pretends to some education or refinement. We all have our pet linguistic peeves, but here are two of mine.

I am really annoyed by the more and more common practice of phrasing every statement as a question, with a rising inflection at the end of each sentence, as if you were begging your listener for approval. It’s hard to represent this typographically, but I’m sure you know what I mean. Maybe its just a variant of Valley Girl argot, but it seems to be spreading among young people, even otherwise educated and articulate ones. I’ve even heard it from journalists. It makes my flesh crawl.

Another modern practice that really steams me is is using the word “like” as a prefix to parenthesize whole blocks of quoted text.

And my sister was, like, ‘”Where did you get those dreamy shoes? ”
And I was, like, “Well, you thought they were ugly until you saw them on TV.”

There is a Brothers Office Copier
commercial that uses this to particularly annoying effect, perhaps you’ve seen it.

I could go on. Have you guys got any examples?