Comments on: From my perspective. https://habitablezone.com/2012/06/11/from-my-perspective/ Tue, 07 Apr 2026 19:18:10 -0700 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: bowser https://habitablezone.com/2012/06/11/from-my-perspective/#comment-15713 bowser Mon, 11 Jun 2012 18:16:24 +0000 http://habitablezone.com/?p=16345#comment-15713 I have had so many people with whom I was close die I feel like an orphan. I'm mad about it, and get madder or sadder every time I think that Larry would like to hear something, or see something I'd like to get for my sister. I'm really pissed about them and others leaving. I'm the one that was supposed to die, shot, mortared, drink, drugs, argumentative, and then accidents. Smoking. They, in turn, lead conventional lives, Larry was military in Vietnam but on a very large ship as a radio repairman, but that was it. The more I think about it the madder I get. I have one friend whose stepdaughter told her boyfriend when he asked who "Bowser" was, "He's Gary's heterosexual soul mate", he's closer than a brother, and some cousins I love dearly but don't see and that's it. I miss those who have passed enormously, and frankly am a bit bitter about it. Bastards. Took the easy way out, I think. And then I get over it. Pretty much. I have had so many people with whom I was close die I feel like an orphan. I’m mad about it, and get madder or sadder every time I think that Larry would like to hear something, or see something I’d like to get for my sister.

I’m really pissed about them and others leaving. I’m the one that was supposed to die, shot, mortared, drink, drugs, argumentative, and then accidents. Smoking.

They, in turn, lead conventional lives, Larry was military in Vietnam but on a very large ship as a radio repairman, but that was it.

The more I think about it the madder I get. I have one friend whose stepdaughter told her boyfriend when he asked who “Bowser” was, “He’s Gary’s heterosexual soul mate”, he’s closer than a brother, and some cousins I love dearly but don’t see and that’s it.

I miss those who have passed enormously, and frankly am a bit bitter about it. Bastards. Took the easy way out, I think.

And then I get over it. Pretty much.

]]> By: Jody https://habitablezone.com/2012/06/11/from-my-perspective/#comment-15712 Jody Mon, 11 Jun 2012 18:02:52 +0000 http://habitablezone.com/?p=16345#comment-15712 I agree. Tigs...which is what I called Eri in real life, had so many health issues. She saw what was in her future and wanted no part. I still tell her every morning while I drink my first cup of coffee and smoke the days first cigarette as I sit in my rocking chair out on my front porch how much I miss her in *this* reality. I agree. Tigs…which is what I called Eri in real life, had so many health issues. She saw what was in her future and wanted no part.

I still tell her every morning while I drink my first cup of coffee and smoke the days first cigarette as I sit in my rocking chair out on my front porch how much I miss her in *this* reality.

]]> By: bowser https://habitablezone.com/2012/06/11/from-my-perspective/#comment-15710 bowser Mon, 11 Jun 2012 17:29:24 +0000 http://habitablezone.com/?p=16345#comment-15710 That is something I have done for 10 hours a week for 2 years now. I watched the patients, I've watched the families and I've experienced it in my own life. When my younger sister told me she was leaving me and her husband, I told her I wasn't read for that yet. She replied, "Tough". This is my experience, only, not the Gospel. People who are dying are handling that their own way, and it's the duty and obligation of those around to go where they go. I know people want to encourage them, urge them to try harder, to live and point out all there is to live for. Dying people are experiencing their own reality and handling that as best they can. They are people who once had a will to live, to experience, to love and relate. If that is gone, it is not for lack of trying, it is because they are aware they have fought the good fight and now it's over. Now they want to settle matters in their own heads, and I believe they retreat into a process where they are resolving matters internally, for themselves. Anything which doesn't accept their process, no matter how well intentioned, will be perceived as a lack of understanding, which is wanted desperately, and simply bitching at them. Ultimately, I think it is in the urging person's interest, and ignoring the patients needs. Even though it is done with the best of intentions. The people I see are glad to see loved ones, and then they turn inside. The world outside their heads ceases to exist, though they come back into our world from time to time. I truly believe they are using that time to become comfortable with themselves and know what is best for themselves. Just observations. That is something I have done for 10 hours a week for 2 years now. I watched the patients, I’ve watched the families and I’ve experienced it in my own life. When my younger sister told me she was leaving me and her husband, I told her I wasn’t read for that yet. She replied, “Tough”.

This is my experience, only, not the Gospel.

People who are dying are handling that their own way, and it’s the duty and obligation of those around to go where they go. I know people want to encourage them, urge them to try harder, to live and point out all there is to live for.

Dying people are experiencing their own reality and handling that as best they can. They are people who once had a will to live, to experience, to love and relate. If that is gone, it is not for lack of trying, it is because they are aware they have fought the good fight and now it’s over. Now they want to settle matters in their own heads, and I believe they retreat into a process where they are resolving matters internally, for themselves.

Anything which doesn’t accept their process, no matter how well intentioned, will be perceived as a lack of understanding, which is wanted desperately, and simply bitching at them. Ultimately, I think it is in the urging person’s interest, and ignoring the patients needs. Even though it is done with the best of intentions.

The people I see are glad to see loved ones, and then they turn inside. The world outside their heads ceases to exist, though they come back into our world from time to time. I truly believe they are using that time to become comfortable with themselves and know what is best for themselves.

Just observations.

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