Comments on: The Gray Divorce https://habitablezone.com/2012/06/14/the-gray-divorce/ Sat, 25 Apr 2026 01:00:29 -0700 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Jody https://habitablezone.com/2012/06/14/the-gray-divorce/#comment-15818 Jody Fri, 15 Jun 2012 21:33:41 +0000 http://habitablezone.com/?p=16480#comment-15818 Happiness is constantly being redefined depending on what *season* our life is in. I agree with you Frank. I am fighting my intrinsic nature to be alone as I age. I am a fighter. Never flight. But flight is kicking in and I don't really know what to do with this feeling. Happiness is constantly being redefined depending on what *season* our life is in. I agree with you Frank.

I am fighting my intrinsic nature to be alone as I age. I am a fighter. Never flight. But flight is kicking in and I don’t really know what to do with this feeling.

]]> By: FrankC https://habitablezone.com/2012/06/14/the-gray-divorce/#comment-15817 FrankC Fri, 15 Jun 2012 21:16:57 +0000 http://habitablezone.com/?p=16480#comment-15817 but divorce between the ages of 50 and 60 are part of the midlife crisis thing. I am sure the empty nest has a lot to do with it but not more than one or the other finding a more attractive and interesting mate. I am more interested in the after 60 story (which is included in the paper to some extent) where I believe the motivation is completely different. The reason for leaving is not for a better mate, it is usually to get away from a person you can no longer tolerate. Why is that, you ask. It is my feeling that up to the early 60's time sort of stands still for a married couple who love each other. In the mind's eye they look the same to each other at 50 as they did at 20, (well, you know what I mean). A metamorphosis begins at some point, usually in the early seventies, people start to change physically in ways that can't be ignored. The entropy happens so fast, you, almost literally, don't recognize the person you are living with. It is, of course, physical but it is more than that. Personality quirks associated with old age start to appear. Any annoying traits that you have overlooked forever are sometimes more pronounced. Even the voice often changes to the point of being unrecognizable. It takes a very strong bond to get past this morphing and even in the best of cases the individuals may stop sharing a room and/or will spend less and less time with their mate. but divorce between the ages of 50 and 60 are part of the midlife crisis thing. I am sure the empty nest has a lot to do with it but not more than one or the other finding a more attractive and interesting mate.

I am more interested in the after 60 story (which is included in the paper to some extent) where I believe the motivation is completely different. The reason for leaving is not for a better mate, it is usually to get away from a person you can no longer tolerate.

Why is that, you ask. It is my feeling that up to the early 60′s time sort of stands still for a married couple who love each other. In the mind’s eye they look the same to each other at 50 as they did at 20, (well, you know what I mean).

A metamorphosis begins at some point, usually in the early seventies, people start to change physically in ways that can’t be ignored. The entropy happens so fast, you, almost literally, don’t recognize the person you are living with. It is, of course, physical but it is more than that. Personality quirks associated with old age start to appear. Any annoying traits that you have overlooked forever are sometimes more pronounced. Even the voice often changes to the point of being unrecognizable.

It takes a very strong bond to get past this morphing and even in the best of cases the individuals may stop sharing a room and/or will spend less and less time with their mate.

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