You have a huge chip on your shoulder…imo. That is for chrissakes what I mean.

You have lived a long valuable life, with great experiences of self reflection and humility.
You aren’t the only one.

All that you so intolerantly expect from others and your down right meanness is what I have issues with. Do you really believe bullying and total verbal exasperation is going to make people want to even consider what you ask of them? You never had children? Children are on loan for mindful parents to teach us the fine art of diplomacy.

I learned along time ago that honey works a whole hell of a lot better than vinegar in trying to get someone to understand one’s point of view.

Your post about AA is great. Fine. Good. I KNOW…for I too have walked that line. OA and Al Anon.

One thing God understands is that we do the best we can until we know how to do it differently.

You have the infinite ability to goad, shame, lecture and humiliate those whom would be the most willing to listen to what you have to say.

However, listening to someone means you listen back….with respect.

When AA was founded the prospects for recovery from alcoholism were almost nil. Those who started to recover in AA were profoundly grateful, and had learned a spiritual principle. If you want something, give it away. If you want respect, respect others. If you want a friend, be a friend, if you want love, love someone. You may not get it directly from the one you are pestering, but you will get it. That’s a law, really. The opposite of materialism.

Recovery was rare and very precious. People who got up in the morning and didn’t have to drink that day were grateful beyond the belief of normal drinkers. If one stayed sober, made sobriety the most important thing in their life, they could have that and everything else they wanted. If they didn’t make it number one, they lost not only sobriety but everything else. It’s that big of a deal. Even now, about 1 out of 35 addicts dies sober. Those are long odds.

Now, they realized if they wanted recovery they would have to give it away, work with others to help them. If it didn’t work with one, go to the next. Nothing was more important than being of service, not your job, not your family. Because if you couldn’t be of service you would get drunk and lose those things anyway.

Now, let’s use some sense. No one is going to get fired to talk to someone, but they may take the time to find someone who does have the time, they will tell a person what to do until they get off work, common sense comes into play.

Anniversaries are a big deal in AA. They are demonstrations that the program can and does work. I was not going to celebrate my first anniversary, told my sponsor that I should never have been drinking in the first place.

He exploded. “Do you think God got you sober for you? That you are so good He was going to do that? Where did you get such a thought! You aren’t any better than anyone else. God got you sober to carry a message, to help other people, and that’s the only reason. You have been loaned sobriety, and if you use it correctly you can hang onto it. And that means carrying a message, the message. As long as you regard yourself as a tool who has been loaned recovery you’ll be OK.”

This is too long. Anyway, with that mindset, for us, money and time is to be used judiciously, to promote recovery in others and ourselves. Clearly I spend money on myself, I have toys and spend time on selfish activities. And if someone came to me and said “I need help” there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do as long as they were helping themselves, too.

I don’t think I made that very clear. Everyone needs to provide for themselves and their families. Alcoholics, too. And some of us need to offer strength to those who are short at the moment, emotional and spiritual strength, and we must be in a financial position to be able to spend the time. Our sobriety, our spiritual condition, or obligation to our community is the most important thing in our lives. And if we take care of those, the rest flows.

Be generous to your family before helping others. For example, She spends hours and hours on volunteer work and neglects the children, forgetting that charity begins at home. This proverb was first recorded in English, in slightly different form, in John Wycliffe’s Of Prelates (c. 1380); “Charity should begin at himself.”

“The only purpose of money is to allow us the freedom to be of service to others. Any other use is a perversion.”

Have you always felt this way? Even in your youth?

Have you always had enough to where you could care for others without having to worry about yourself? Maybe that’s what you meant by having the “freedom”.

And to enjoy the fruits of your labor is a perversion?

The only purpose of money is to allow us the freedom to be of service to others. Any other use is a perversion.

Do not allow yourself to use money, sex, possessions or anything besides yourself for self-esteem.

Do not trust anyone in authority who will claim to act in your best interests. Ask your average Vietnamese, Iraqi or Afghan.

Do not trust anyone who places money above all else. Ever. Don’t even go near them.

Contentment is better than happy.

Do not expect anyone else to have your best interests at heart.

Do not expect your children to hear anything you say after they are six.

Do not expect anyone to want to be just like you.

The use of force is a last resort. Unless one is stealing.

Never, ever trust anyone who says they come in peace. Never.

Marriage is society’s way of forcing one to stay in a relationship when it is no longer in one’s best interest. For those who want to stay, marriage is not necessary.