Bering in Mind
Being Suicidal: What It Feels Like to Want to Kill Yourself
Suicide, an “escape from the self,” is driven by a flash flood of strong emotions, not rational, philosophical thoughts

10-20-2010 | Jesse Bering, Associate Professor of Science Communication at the University of Otago in New Zealand

One of the more fascinating psychotic conditions in the medical literature is known as Cotard’s syndrome, a rare disorder, usually recoverable, in which the primary symptom is a “delusion of negation.” According to researchers David Cohen and Angèle Consoli of the Université Pierre et Marie Curie, many patients with Cotard’s syndrome are absolutely convinced, without even the slimmest of doubts, that they are already dead.

Some recent evidence suggests that Cotard’s may occur as a neuropsychiatric side effect in patients taking the drugs aciclovir or valaciclovir for herpes and who also have kidney failure.* But its origins go back much further than these modern drugs. First described by the French neurologist Jules Cotard in the 1880s, it is usually accompanied by some other debilitating problem, such as major depression, schizophrenia, epilepsy or general paralysis—not to mention disturbing visages in the mirror. Consider the case of one young woman described by Cohen and Consoli: “The delusion consisted of the patient’s absolute conviction she was already dead and waiting to be buried, that she had no teeth or hair, and that her uterus was malformed.” Poor thing—that image couldn’t have been very good for her self-esteem.

Still, call me strange, but I happen to find a certain appeal in the conviction that one is, though otherwise lucid, nevertheless already dead. Provided there were no uncomfortable symptoms of rigor mortis cramping up my hands, nor delusory devils biting at my feet, how liberating it would be to be able to write like a dead man and without that hobbling, hesitating fear of being unblinkingly honest. Knowing that upon publication I would be tucked safely away in my tomb, I could finally say what’s on my mind. Of course, living one’s life as though it were a suicide note incarnate (yet remember this is precisely what life is, really, and I would advise any thinking person to stroll by a cemetery each day, gaze unto those fields of crumbling headstones filled with chirping crickets, and ponder, illogically so, what these people wish they might have said to the world when it was still humanly possible for them to have done so ) is an altogether different thing from the crushing, unbearable weight of an actual suicidal mind dangerously tempted by the promise of permanent quiescence.

Other Scientific American articles on the offered page include:

August 12, 2014
Beautiful Minds
Robin Williams’ Comedic Genius Was Not a Result of Mental Illness, But His Suicide Was

His compassion, playfulness, divergent thinking, imagination, intelligence, affective repertoire, and unique life experiences made him a comic genius

October 3, 2013
Beautiful Minds
The Real Link Between Creativity and Mental Illness

SA MIND blogger Scott Barry Kaufman argues against the popular notion of a connection, noting that mental illness is neither necessary nor sufficient for creativity

November 1, 2011
November/December 2011

Neurons Offer Clues to Suicide
People who kill themselves have more of a type of neuron important for social emotions

November 22, 2013
MIND Guest Blog

Creativity, Madness and Drugs
Would we have Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds if the Beatles had not taken LSD?

December 10, 2013
News

Unraveling the Mystery of How Antidepression Drugs Work

New insights into how selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors work suggest they reverse inhibited nerve regeneration and connectivity that may underlie depression

July 1, 2014
Scientific American Mind Volume 25, Issue 4

SSRIs May Help Us See the Glass Half Full
Common antidepressants may also affect learning and digestion

May 1, 2013
Scientific American Mind Volume 24, Issue 2

Is Ketamine the Next Big Depression Drug?
Ketamine, an anesthetic and illicit party drug, is emerging as a fast-acting antidepressant

Some may find the reading insightful, hopeful, enlightening — perhaps not. Suggestions are generally offered, but few answers. There’s a lot more here than meets the eye.

http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-28753326

“When the gods gift you with the kind of talent Robin had, there’s a price to pay,” the Monty Python star told the BBC.

“It comes from deep problems inside. A concern, all sorts of fears. Yet he could always channel those things and turn them into gold.

“I think that comes with the territory.”

Its tempting to think that they’re all just “losers”, but I suspect there is a more causal connection.

Warm, funny Robin Williams wasn’t so alone when he died in an apparent suicide on Monday, leaving behind his grieving family and a nation of bewildered fans. Recently self-harm has been taking more lives annually around the world than war, murder, and natural disasters combined. In more advanced countries, only three causes of death steal more years of life expectancy, according to data prepared last spring by the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation at the University of Washington.