C: Good evening, Don. Recognize my voice?

T: Good evening, Mr. P…

C: No last names, Donald, you know Barry has all the damned phones tapped these days, its getting so you can’t even conduct a little business without someone listening in–or someone listening in on them! How’s the wife and kids?

T: You got that right, Bill. They’re doing just fine, How’s yours?

C: Just fine. In fact, that’s why I called. The missus is thinking of running for President and I called because I’ve got a little proposition for you. There’s not much in it for you, but it won’t cost you much, and I’ll make it worth your while down the line. You know I take care of my friends.

T: No problem Bill, I’m always glad to help. So, what can I do for you?

C: I’d like you to run for President, too, Don. For the other party.

T: I’m not sure I understand, Bill. You know I never had much interest in politics, except when it could help me out on a deal.

C: Its pretty simple, Don. You run for office, you mix it up with the GOP field, and I get to see what they’ve got going for them, where their support is, their strengths and weaknesses, what kind of platform they’re working on, it will be good campaign intelligence. And we’ll be doing op research on everything they say and every ad they run. They’re bound to say something really stupid. You can even make some pretty outrageous campaign promises, and we’ll see how far they’re willing to step out on a limb just to keep up with you. Meanwhile, all the GOP moneybags will have to spend cash against you, they’ll be going broke fighting you and each other for the primaries. I know you won’t need to spend any money, you have no trouble getting on the evening news, and you’ll get a fortune’s worth of publicity out of it. You can’t lose.

T: I gotta admit, Bill; that’s pretty diabolical, even for you! I wouldn’t mind trying it, just for fun.
And you’re right, it will be great press for me. And I’ll make a lot of good business contacts in the Republican Party and the media. When do I start?

C: Whenever you like. And you stay in as long as you like. No pressure, no problems. When it gets to be a hassle, or too much a demand on your time, you drop out. And that will really throw a monkey wrench into their strategy. It won’t take us long to get what we need. Of course, Hillary will have to bad mouth you every now and then, but you know it’ll be all in fun.

T: Count me in, I’ll start putting together a prelim staff tomorrow, and you can look forward to a press release by the end of the month.

C: Great, that’s just what I wanted to hear. But you do undertand we won’t be able to talk about this publicly, or even privately, except under the strictest security. Any questions?

T: Just one, sir. What if my campaign catches on? What if it looks like I’m going to get the nomination. I’m not sure I want to run for President, but I may feel differently a year from now, you know what I mean. I don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep.

C: I wouldn’t worry about that, Donald. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Just leave it all up to me. And remember, this call did not take place. Good night.

T: Good night, sir.