In this corner, we have Vlad “the invader of Ukraine” Putin. Coming in at five feet five inches tall and 150 pounds (pre-steroids), he is experienced in Judo, rides horses shirtless, has a really big table, and stole billions from his country.

In the other corner, it’s Elon “Starman” Musk. Also versed in the martial arts, he’s six feet two inches tall and one hundred eighty two pounds (on earth). He’s known for electric vehicles, re-usable rockets, and employing capitalism to acquire billions while destroying small businesses.

Let’s get ready to rumble!!!!

Elon’s got the height and the arm reach but might be stoned.

Vlad’s got the training (although his black belt was revoked) and the steroids.