Another month turns and he calls again. I meet him at the storage place, but there’s nothing I really want to buy. So, he says, “I’ve got two AK’s in here, with ammo.”

I give him a stare. “No, come, look,” says he, “Go ahead, hold it.”

Again, I just give him a stare. Why? I’m not only NOT going to buy a gun from a guy I barely know in a storage unit on the outskirts of town, there is no way in hell I’m putting my fingerprints on a weapon that isn’t mine, not registered, not shown it is unloaded, and not cleaned in months.

I bought of couple of crystals I didn’t want, got the hell out of there, and never answered his calls again.

I’m just paranoid enough to wonder if it was a sting op. But probably not. That’s just how easy it is to get a gun in this country.

As long as I live in the USA, I would feel vulnerable to violence if I did not own firearms. I would probably also feel that way if I lived in several other countries that have high rates of gun violence, like Israel, South Africa, Columbia, Mexico or Haiti.

Yes, yes, I am perfectly well aware that there are people like that because they feel just like me, but I have convinced myself that I will
not resolve my problems by shooting someone. I am very well aware of that contradiction and that makes me part of the problem. It may be hypocrisy on my part, but that’s the way I feel about it.

My disarming myself will not convince anyone else to disarm. I realize that attitude only perpetuates the problem, but I am convinced that until gun ownership is illegal, and the law ruthlessly enforced, the problem will continue. And until that day, I will be armed. In the Lord of the Rings films, the heroine Eowyn tells Aragorn: “Those who refuse to live by the sword can still die on one.”

As for WHY the USA has this problem, almost unique among the world’s nations, I have my own theory. I believe the root cause is that many Americans, whether they will even admit it to themselves or not, have a subconscious terror that some day the descendants of those who their ancestors enslaved will come looking for revenge. Yes, I know there are many other factors, social, cultural, historical, political, etc. , but they are secondary. At the root of it, that is what I believe they believe, and what drives their fear. That fear has been exploited for political and economic purposes by unscrupulous actors, but that is the root cause.

As a practical solution to this problem, I do not believe outlawing ownership of firearms will solve the problem. It would only provoke an armed rebellion by those philosophically committed to their use. Common sense laws like registration, background checks, registry, etc will help, but the problem will not go away. Perhaps the best compromise we can hope for is to allow the citizen to arm himself, as long as his weapon is kept in his home for self-defense. The carrying of weapons in public should be strictly forbidden and rigorously punished. We all have a right to defend our homes, but no one has a right to take a deadly weapon into someone elses home, or to a public place.

I stand with my US colleagues and despair, for what little that is worth.