Yeah, I know. I Googled it. But what I really want to know is how come I never heard of one until just a couple of years ago. I sense it is somehow associated with squishy Liberals. I have yet to run into any evidence of any Republican, Conservative or Neo-Nazi or crypto-Brownshirt drinking one. Its supposed to be ‘healthy’, right? An obsession with physical fitness used to be a fascist sort of thing, but now I hear about smoothie bars in gyms, or “enjoying a smoothie after a workout”. It sounds so fucking wholesome it makes me want to puke.

What’s wrong with a good old-fashioned all-American milkshake? You know, the kind they bring you the metal container they made it in so when you finish the glass you have another treat to look forward to.