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Home » Space/Science

Want to live longer? Stitch yourself to a Gen-Z-er... August 12, 2023 10:47 am RL

Scientists Connected Old Mice to Young Mice, And It Rejuvenated Them

In a bizarre experiment researchers from US and Russia connected the circulatory systems of young and old mice for a whole 12 weeks, slowing the older animals’ cellular aging and increasing their lifespan by as much as 10 percent.

The study expands on previous research showing there are components in young mammalian blood worth investigating for anti-aging health benefits.

Imagine a world where boomers have to convince gen-z-ers to stitch themselves to a grumpy old dude for a few weeks…

“Look. I know I have been calling you wimpy whiners for years, but could you attach your blood stream to mine for a few weeks, so I can continue voting against your best interests 10% longer?”

It will make a night out at the club a little weird…

Would grafting yourself to an elderly person become like a trendy thing…like hipsters that use a ‘retro’ typewriter in Starbucks? Especially if they are actually attached at the hip…It would be a GREAT comedy skit…

*Taylor Talking to cute girl in a club*:
“OH, This? This is Gerald, I got him last month… yeah, he’s a CPA from the 50′s, really vintage… yeah yeah, I know that’s crazy ancient right…?”

Gerald: “Actually, Taylor, I am just 65, so I wouldn’t call that ‘Ancient’, I still work at…”

Taylor: “Gerald, remember what I said about interrupting me? Do you WANT me to do tequila shots? You KNOW it will hurt you more than it will hurt me… remember last week?”

Gerald winces and sighs: “Ok… ok… no need for that” Gerald looks chastened and looks down sullenly as he sips his Ensure.

Taylor -to cute girl: “so, anyway…Hailey I noticed your tats, they are sooo hot… oh, and WHO are you wearing?”

Hailey: “OH, nothing special, just Irene, she’s also from the 50′s and was a caterer or some shit like that… now she just posts cat videos on Facebook…” *Hailey rolls her eyes*

Irene: “Hailey, I told you several times- I ran a multi-million dollar food service provider that…”

Hailey, interrupting Irene with a warning stare: “ANYWAY…. Would you like to dance?”

Gerald and Irene groan loudly….

Gerald : grumbling under his breath about pansy-assed Taylor with his ‘soul patch’ and ‘man-bun’, and how he knew a guy that got hepatitis from a girl like Hailey, how the music is too damn loud, how he can’t believe what that tramp over there is wearing…as he gets jerked around the dance floor to the beat of electronic dance music…

Gerald tries and fails to give his business card to another similarly uncomfortable elderly businessman attached to another young guy as they swing wildly past each other on the dance floor…

Taylor and Hailey go back to her place and things get hot and heavy between them as Gerald awkwardly gives Irene tax advice…

Its a weird, brave new world we are heading for…

  • A sci fi hell awaits. by BuckGalaxy 2023-08-12 18:08:23
    • Getting into Q-anon territory there... by RL 2023-08-12 19:53:06
      • Would make for an interesting Sci Fi movie/book by BuckGalaxy 2023-08-12 20:27:22

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