Yeah, I’m mixing my Bond villains here, but I was thinking about the first time I watched Moonraker in the 1980s. The villain was Hugo Drax, not Goldfinger, but wtf.

I remember laughing back then at the fact that no one on earth was even remotely rich enough to privately own space shuttles or space stations. But here we are today with Elon Musk and his own private space program. Almost chump change for him. Fortunately Musk doesn’t seem evil enough to want to wipe out humanity from space a la Hugo Drax. But I wouldn’t put it past him to try and claim the entire planet of Mars for himself if he lands people there first. Homesteading laws? lol

And please no Muskfinger jokes (How did his finger get that musky smell?)

Then of course there’s Jeff Bezos, equally wealthy and possibly he could leapfrog past Musk with a couple of successful Blue Origin launches. And shit he already took Capt Kirk to where no 90 year old actor has gone before. Something about the shape of his rockets though… I can’t put my finger on it. Bozos.. excuse me Bezos, bent the knee to the Orange Criminal and ruined the second greatest news publication in the world, but still I’m rooting for Blue Origin to succeed.

Richard Branson and Virgin Galactic seems to always be a few years away from his space tourism dream. Something about test pilots getting killed slows things way down. They’re currently about 13 years behind schedule. By now she could be called Slutty Galactic? Still, hundreds of people have signed up for the flights if and when they start. Maybe Branson should hold off on the spliffs?

Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t seem to care much about human spaceflight, but he is big on sending robots into the expanse. His Starshot Project is an ambitious attempt to send small robots to the far reaches of space, including Alpha Centauri. Zuck aims to do that by installing tiny chips mounted onto postage stamp–size ships that make their way through space using a sail pushed by a light beam. The probes would travel at 25% the speed of light. He did some prototype tests about 7 years ago but his launch date for the actual mission is roughly planned for around 2050. Dude, you have the money, accelerate the damn program FFS.

So yeah, evil rich bastards right?? But they are actually doing something we all dream about here. What else can I say but, make it fucking so you fat cat, plutocrat, one-thousandth percenter, snob-ass biatches!