I’m glad I have a fireplace. Truthfully, I prefer cool to heat. It’s easier to layer clothes and run a fireplace than it is to strip clothes and cool yourself down. The chill would affect crops less than heat, I think, but either way, better be prepared to pay lots for food or go on a diet.

When Jurassic Park came out, I drove home after seeing the movie and I was looking around for a Velociraptor to jump out at me from every dark corner as I walked to my apartment from the parking lot. So I was thinking about dinosaurs how they went extinct and I scribbled this piece on how they really died:

I have my own theory as to why dinosaurs became extinct until Michael Crichton and Steven Spielberg resurrected them. These were huge sons-of-a-gun. With healthy appetites. The herbivores ate so many plants that after a few million years of denuding the planet of vegetation, they were running out of food and began starving to death. However, these weakened, starving herbivores made easy meals for the carnivores who then got fat and lazy since they didn’t have to chase their food anymore. It must have been like having a delicatessen on every street corner. (Sound like any species you know?)

But it didn’t last long. The increasing lack of vegetation caused global warming. Global warming is, according to scientific theory, when the planet’s temperature gradually warms up, thereby causing a greenhouse effect. In actuality, the winters currently are getting colder and the summers cooler so the scientists spend all their time trying to explain how it’s really getting warmer when it’s actually getting colder. I figure that eventually global warming froze all the dinosaurs to death.