Us: Wow, that pile of shit really seems unstable

RobVG: NONSENSE, that pile of shit really says what it’s thinking! We need a pile of shit like that, we should put it right next to the big fan!
TB: That pile of shit sometimes smells bad, but it makes some good points- and I would MUCH prefer a pile of shit rather than a former Secretary of State sitting next to the big fan…
FRANK: If that pile of shit smells bad to the libs, then I LOVE IT!!! BRING ON THE SHIT!
Jody: Muslims want to rape me and my grand-daughters, so the best defense is a pile of shit that assaults women!

Us: Wait… what? Just look at it- its obviously a pile of shit- it has a freaking neon sign that says “WARNING: UNSTABLE PILE OF SHIT!”, Its even hiring and getting support from other known piles of shit…

TB: Piles of shit can still make a valuable contribution, as you can see in this link here:
FRANK: PILE OF SHIT WILL SAVE AMERICA! Unless the liberals stop him! Pile of shit would be great right next to the big fan!
Rob: You elitist libs are always slandering piles of shit- I don’t care what you say, that pile of shit has finally given me a voice! I say we should put the pile of shit next to the big fan and see what it can do!
Jody: That pile of shit promises to protect my virginity and that of my daughters from the muslims! YOU GO, PILE OF SHIT!! PILE OF SHIT AND BIG FAN 2016!!!
TB: Thats right Jody- muslims are afraid of shit piles, just like liberals- see link HERE

Us: Look, no matter how much you LIKE the pile of shit, it is clearly a bad idea to put that pile of shit right next to the most powerful fan in the world- I mean, thats just obvious, right…?

TB: You obviously didn’t read the damn links, I don’t know why I bother… look its a choice between a pile of shit, and a former secretary of state- do the math- pile of shit is clearly the safer choice!
Rob: You libs keep complaining about the smell, but I can’t smell anything besides its manliness! That pile of shit wont take shit from anyone!
Frank: That pile of shit makes some good points! If only we could get a pedophile pile of shit for me to vote for- THAT would REALLY piss off the libs! ROLLLL TIIIIDE!

Us: (explaining very slowly)… If you put a large unstable pile of shit right next to a fan … (drawing out diagrams) you can see that we are all gonna have a bad time- It’s just common sense!

TB: Read the damn links! Piles of shit can be a GOOD thing!

Us: But not when they are placed next to a high speed fan-
Rob: There you guys go again, running down piles of shit! That pile of shit stands for the same things I do! You libs keep insulting piles of shit by calling them piles of shit- that hurts the feelings of piles of shit, so knock it off, snowflakes!

Us: The only thing it stands for is… shit, Rob… see there, at the top of the pile- the big sign that says “%100 PURE SHIT” – I mean, it really couldn’t be much clearer…

Jody: Boy, that pile of shit really has the libs worked up! (giggle) WOOOHOOO GO YOU PILE OF SHIT, GO!

(Conservatives succeed in placing pile of shit by big fan)

Us: OH SHIT!

Rob: Aww come on guys, shit won’t be so bad- see, I’ve already learned to LIKE the smell… Give shit a chance!
TB: Pile of shit is definitely the way to go- you libs brought this on yourselves…’
Frank: PILE OF SHIT WILL MAKE AMERICA STRONG!!! HEE HEEE LOOK AT THE LIBS HOLDING THEIR NOSES! I _LOVE_ THAT PILE OF SHIT… (but not in a gay way)
Jody: WHEEEE!
SDAI: The VORTEX foretold the coming of the great pile of shit!

(Pile of shit starts doing shitty things, and doing them badly)
(Pile of shit starts to teeter towards fan)

Us: Well, gee- who could have seen THAT coming?

TB: ~oh shit~ Well, I’m outa here- seeya losers….
Frank: ~oh shit~ If shitty things happen from putting a pile of shit next to the fan then it will be the liberal’s fault, because….because… oh hey look at the time, I gotta go
Jody: ~oh shit~ I’ve heard enough “I told ya so’s”, I’m the better person because I’ve got a pile of shit- so I win… I will just go back to posting cat pictures on pinterest and thanking my lucky stars that I won’t be raped by muslims…
Rob: Man is that Pile of shit great, or what, guys?… guys? Hey, where did you go? Guys?

(Pile of shit starts to topple into fan)

Us: See, this is what we were worried about…

Rob: Nuh unh! Its not falling, it just looks that way because of the liberal media! Right guys? …Guys?

(FWAP-SPLAT!)

EVERYONE: OH SHIT! My God, there is just so much shit! How could ONE pile contain that much shit?!!

Rob, Frank, TB: OH SHIT, WHO COULD HAVE POSSIBLY KNOWN THAT WOULD HAPPEN?! HOW COULD WE HAVE KNOWN? WE AREN’T PSYCHICS! IF ONLY THERE WERE SOME COMMON METAPHOR WARNING US ABOUT THE DANGERS OF MIXING SHIT AND FANS!!!
SDAI: Wooooohoooo – PILE OF SHIT sure showed those libs what it was made of!!! PILE OF SHIT WINS AGAIN!
Jody: …And THIS kitty is wearing a hat- isn’t it just sooo cuuute?! I call it ‘Kitty in hat #427′

And what lesson will they take from this?
‘NEXT time we need to get a BIGGER pile of shit!’