A transcript of a telephone conversation with a robot I’ve been having a lot lately.

[Telephone rings, I answer]

ER: Hello

AI: Hello, this is Jennifer with the Florida Medical Benefits Office. I am calling to advise you of new benefits you are now entitled to receive. Are you Elisee Reclus?

ER: Yes

AI: Are you currently receiving Medicare Prescription Benefits B and C?

ER: Yes (I’m just trying to get to a human operator so I can tell him or her I don’t want any more annoying phone calls.)

AI: Fine, let me transfer you to a Benefits Operator who will sign you up for these new benefits. (I hear a telephone number being entered on a keypad and a ‘ringing phone’ signal.)

A different recorded voice: I’m sorry, but the number you have entered is not in service at this time. Please call again later. (Connection is cut and a dial tone is heard).

ER: Fuck you very much.